Marriage & The Family

On Women Breadwinners

Last Saturday night I was home chilling with three of my sisters.  It was a cool fall evening that quickly turned to night and then to morning as four well educated, career minded Alpha females, three of which were mothers, enjoyed heart felt and passionate, sometimes heated discussions over lots of good food, wine, tea, hot cocoa and yummy deserts.  {Thanks to Thanksgiving left overs we had loads of options J} As can almost always be predicted when women get together the issue quickly converged on Love, Marriage & Relationships.  This time though it was not the same old stuff, the focus was on women providers in a family unit.

Do Having a woman as the major provider in a family unit disrupt the natural order of marriage as God designed it?

“By the sweat of your face you will eat bread until you return to the ground” God told Adam in Genesis 3:19 

“When a woman who is financially capable of providing for a family marries a man who is not, she marries a man who is not ready for marriage” one of my sisters said during our discussion on Saturday. 

Do you agree?  Should women be marrying these men?  Should these men be getting married before they are able to provide for a family? How does the dynamics affect relationships between husband and wives in marriage? Are most men resentful of a woman who provides their family’s financial needs leaving them un-needed to do their God given responsibilities or according to 1 Timothy 5:8 making them worse than an infidel.  A little harsh but read it for yourself.  Are there men that are ok or even happy with being provided for by a woman?

I have seen and heard about these men who on the surface (or maybe to their clueless wives) they are happy to be provided for but they turn around and use their wives’ money to fund an extra marital relationships where they can have the natural provider position to another woman.  There was a particular gut-wrenching story about a successful corporate tax lawyer whose husband started another family in Nigeria as she worked hard in the US to shoulder the family’s financial responsibilities mostly by herself.  Her story was that he was doing business in Nigeria and that explained his frequent trips.  On the other hand his business was not doing so well just yet and that’s how she explained his inability to provide the family’s basic needs. 

It is my opinion that women should be very careful when taking the role of provider general in their marriage relationships, as they run a huge risk of emasculating and pushing away their husbands.  They also run a risk of suffering much more than heartbreak when and if their story becomes one of the ugly stories we heard and shared on Saturday.  Having being heartbroken quite a few times, I dare say it is far easier for a woman to heal a broken heart than to mend the destruction wrought when your heart is broken by a man you spent your money on. 

I honestly believe that women are not natural providers so it hurts them extra when a man they spent money on breaks their hearts.   Women that find themselves in this position begin to believe that the man should love & respect them extra because they are doing his job for them but it doesn’t work that way.  Women take note…  Men let me know if you agree or disagree.

God Bless

#Sisterhood #Marriagenthefamily