My Happiness Project

“I have come to realize that people that struggle with Happiness tend to be Angels.  These are people that really care a lot about wanting to be Happy, about wanting a better world, about wanting to help others, and wanting to live a life of purpose.” – Ada Johnson

I am going to be 40 in less than six months and this has caused me to start having a critical look at my life and as can be expected for the perfectionists in me, I started with the things I would like to do better at.  The number one thing I want to be better at when my life begins in less than six months is to Be Happier! 

Compared to most people I know, I am a happy person.  I have worked hard to pursue happiness so far and I have achieved many truly euphoric moments in my life.  Unfortunately, I also do get very melancholic to the point of not seeing why I should continue living and it is this part of my happiness or lack of it, that I want to improve!  As a renowned over achiever, I not only want to improve in this area, I want to master it!  I want to be so good at it that I write a book to help others get better at it!

Armed with my ambitious goal and a new reason to be happy (helping others live a happier life makes me happy 😊) With these thoughts, I headed to Amazon and put a couple of books on Happiness in my shopping cart.  After much deliberation, I ordered two of them to start with, and after even more deliberation, I decided to read “The Happiness Project” by Gretchen first.  “Furiously Happy” by Jenny Lawson is next!

Already excited about what I am learning about being happy in the “The Happiness Project”, I decided to commence my very own “Happiness Project” and in my true super woman form, I decided, I will do in six months what Gretchen did in I year! At the beginning of my six months, I put up an Instagram post about it to have people hold me accountable and jumped in ready to achieve great things and blog about it and of course be happy because blogging makes me happy!  In fact, any kind of writing for the consumption of others make me happy!

Well after week one, where I was supposed to Boost my Energy by going to sleep earlier, exercising better, organizing my closet and act more energetic allow me to disappoint you greatly by stating that I only achieved one of all these things and it is neither exercise better nor sleep earlier!  And no, I did not organize my closet, it is still impassable!  In my defense, I did organize my children’s closet and made it to the gym once during my first week.  I also attempted to get to bed earlier and listened to my sleep doctor’s orders to switch of my phones prior to going to bed on a few days that week.  He however wanted me to do it at least 1.5 hours before bed time, the best I did was 1 hour before!

Actually, since I am doing Gretchen’s one month in two week, I have one more week to achieve these goals, but who am I fooling?  Its Thursday of week 2, I am not doing any better, however, I can happily say that I have been somewhat happier since last week with no crying spells,  no major depressive episodes and a renewed hope of pursuing dreams and living happy now and in the future!  Therefore it is with much happiness that I report to you that my happiness project is going great so far and this project is going to be uniquely mine.  Stay tuned for further updates!

After my Instagram post, lots of people called me brave for being able to publicly acknowledge that I suffer from Clinical Depression, to them I say thanks and its high time we are all brave enough to talk openly about our emotional and mental health.  When I look at the suicide statistics around the world, I can’t help but wonder if our collective silence on this matter is contributing to these scary numbers. 

A lot of my friends and family have called or texted to check in on me, and to them I say, don’t worry I am fine, in fact I am doing much better these days that I have most of my life and this includes my childhood when I cried myself sick on some days for no apparent reason at all.  You don’t have to worry too much about me, thanks to my Christian faith, I am way too afraid of hell to commit suicide.

Yes I said it, “SUICIDE”  the big bad word that stigmatizes people from wanting to use the word “depression”.  More of us have thought about the big bad word that will admit it openly.  I myself can tell you that I have thought about it quite a bit, but I thank God for Jesus and for God making sure that even if the fear of hell is not enough, I have two handsome breathing reasons while excusing myself from this sometimes dark world is not an option.  If the world is so bad, it means I have more reason to stay here to help my two sons navigate it better so you see, I am good.

My Handsome Kings, my reason.

Some of Nigerian friends have advised me to not post “these type of things” on social media, to them I say I need to, I am doing it for me, and for any other person who can look at me and say “if she is rocking this life with depression, I can too!”  Or if she is being this open about suffering from depression I can too.  Quite honestly I just made that up because, I don’t really know why I am doing it.  I know that I have this real urge to do it.   Anyways to reiterate, I freaking feel like doing it and its my life so I can do what I like so go ahead and do you! #BeHappyNow

Cheers!

According to WebMD here are a few signs that you or someone you know might be clinically depressed

• Restlessness or feeling slowed down
• Recurring thoughts of death or suicide
• Significant weight loss or gain (a change of more than 5% of body weight in a month)
• Fatigue or loss of energy almost every day
• Feelings of worthlessness or guilt almost every day
• Impaired concentration, indecisiveness
• Insomnia or hypersomnia (excessive sleeping) almost every day
• Markedly diminished interest or pleasure in almost all activities nearly every day (called anhedonia, this symptom can be indicated by reports from significant others)

WebMD also notes that “Major depression can sometimes occur from one generation to the next in families, but often it may affect people with no family history of the illness.”

According International Suicide Statistics. “Over one million people die by suicide worldwide each year. The global suicide rate is 16 per 100,000 population. On average, one person dies by suicide every 40 seconds somewhere in the world.”

Jet Set Go!! Happy New Year 2018!

My 2017 Year in Travel

"The world is a book, and those who do not travel read only one page." - Saint Augustine

My sons and I in Obidos, Portugal - A family that travels together stays together :) 

2017 had me staying 118 nights in 37 hotels in 27 cities around the world.  I had the opportunity to visit eight countries including The United Arab Emirates, Portugal, Jamaica, England, Germany, Czech Republic, The Netherlands, and Canada.  I logged in at least 16 US cities including Albany, Chicago, Dallas, Salt Lake City, Nashville, Baltimore, Atlanta, Los Angeles, Santa Monica, San Francisco, Beverly Hills, Fishkill, Westchester, Long Island, Coralville, Iowa City, Hanover, Oklahoma City, and Washington, D.C. scattered around 11 states and D.C.

Taking in the sights in London aboard the Emirates Cable Car

The jury is still out on how many flights I took in 2017, but they say it was definitely over 76 flights.  The only thing I would change in 2018 is sticking to one airline so I can hit platinum status.  Believe you when I tell you that hotel and airline status literarily put money in your pocket and can help you experience luxury your pocketbook would not allow you to splurge on.   My Platinum benefits with Marriott was the real MVP for 2017 as it opened doors to luxury hotel suites in Prague, Munich, and Chicago that I would not have experienced with my limited travel budget, and the food expenses saved with my access to the executive lounges were bae!

During our five night stay in London this summer, we stayed at the London Marriott Hotel Park Lane, a hotel located on the historically upper class Park Lane Neighborhood in the City of Westminister in Central London.  It is within few minutes of most of London's top 10 attractions including the London Eye (15 mins), Buckingham Palace (11 mins),  and St. Paul's Cathedral (13 mins).  This hotel usually cost about £500/night in the summer months and although the hotel snob in me allow me come out of pocket sometimes for luxury hotels, my pocket book would not allow £2500 for 5 out of 21 nights of our Euro vacation.  My points and my platinum Elite status with Marriott got us five nights at one of our best total package hotels yet.  The concierge lounge at the hotel served delicious breakfast, lunch and dinner with free premium alcohol, a tea lover's dream tea collection and pastries that had me throwing my weight loss goals out the window.  This hotel is going down as my No. 1 hotel of 2017 because the food was amazing especially for a Houston girl in London, the heated pool and the Sauna made both mom and boys happy, and the hotel bill for our 5 night stay including meals was amazingly beautiful at a total of £0 😻.

Mi Familia from L to R Alex, Leila, Moi, Alice, Aaron, and DaddyJoe

In 2017, I enjoyed sleeping in beds well made by someone else with luxury sheets so soft, that it made my sheets at home feel harder.   I sleep better in my own bed, but the award for best bed I slept in 2017 is the king bed at the brand new Hilton Ocean Oak Resort.  My insomnia took a break as I slept and slept during our week long thanksgiving break to Hilton head.  We barely saw the island outside our beach property, but no regrets as we were there for the sand and water anyway.  I love to have a clean room when i travel and I don't know about you, but I try to show gratitude to the good souls that are able to make the beds and cleaned our rooms with a cheery attitude especially the one in Hilton Rose Hal Resort & Spa in Montego Bay who kept encouraging me to go outside my room and have fun during my solo trip to Jamaica.  I did encounter my share of not so nice hotel maids in 2017 like the lady at The resident Inn in Fishkill who would come in and ask if you needed any service with a tone that bullied me into saying no and then the one time I said yes, she complained so much about her personal suffering, I almost threw niceness in the air and plugged my ears!  I know that life is hard, shit! Im a single mom, but my time away from home is to escape all the stress.   

Happiness is beach days with no deliverables

In my travels this year, I enjoyed appreciating the beautiful and cheery artwork in hotels around the world and dipping my feet in beach waters in Jamaica, Portugal, Dubai, and Hilton Head, SC.  The foodie in me rejoiced at finding sour sop juice at breakfast in Jamaica, getting roasted salmon rolled into my omelette in Portugal and Chicago, savoring chocolate croissants in London, Portugal, Chicago, Hanover, Dubai, and Baltimore, and the delicately presented dinners at the brand new Marriott Marquis Chicago.  2017 also had me sleeping in three new hotels including the Residence Inn at John Hopkins in Baltimore that was so new, I was there for the opening ceremony.  I actually have a piece of the red ribbon that was cut in the ribbon cutting ceremony with the Mayor of Baltimore and other nice people present.

Happy Breakfast

London

The boys Playing in Portugal

My most memorable vacation in 2017 was showing my sons a little of Europe as we explored the cities of London, Obidos, Fatima, Prague, Munich, Recklinghausen, Cologne, Winterswijk during our  Euro Tour this summer.

All smiles at the beach at Marriott Priara Del Rey Golf Resort & Spa

 The best thing I did during a vacation was re-uniting with my aunt and cousins I hadn't seen in 20 years!  

My most fun vacation was brining in 40 with my girl Vaders in Dubai.  My biggest vacation accomplishment was going solo to Jamaica, but it showed me that I would always rather travel with someone or a group of people and that is why the real achievement for me is making friends who love to travel in 2017 so that all my non-business travels starting with my upcoming birthday trip will include at least one companion.

Stepping into 2018 like..

As I step into 2018, my travel calendar already have me on nine flights, and sleeping 17 nights in six hotels across two countries.  My no. 1 travel goal in 2018 is to see more of the places I visit and this means I need to get more sleep at home.  So for 2018, my goals and prayers are really short and include better health, more sleep, more money, and more success in education, career, and hobbies for myself and my kids so help me God 🙏.  What are your goals and prayers for 2018? Drop a comment.  I want to take a minute to thank you all for reading my stories and wish you Happiness, Prosperity, and all your heart Desires in the New Year!!!

Cheers!!!

Cheers to the New Year!!!

PLAYTIME IN DUBAI

“Bizarre travel plans are dancing lessons from God.”  - Kurt Vonnegut Jr

Sunglazed & Sailing towards the Burj Al Arab

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#Vadersfabulous40 #VaderstakesDubai



I have played lip service to being that person that works hard and plays harder. So when the opportunity to go to Dubai for a two day nonstop luxury party came by, I said yes to the life I have always wanted to live, and joined my friend Evhade  who we fondly call Vaders  for her Dubai takeover to celebrate her 40th Birthday.

2017 will have to go down as the year I worked the hardest.  I mean college was kinda hard, you know getting an engineering degree, while being a student leader for multiple organizations and a single mom was definitely no walk in the park but being a single mom of three kids including two teenager; and having a demanding job that involves about two flights a week and 60 hour work-weeks have this body beat.   Most of the year, I chose hanging out with the kids and resting, over playing. Yeah I know, I am getting old!

To my credit I play a little harder than most of my friends here in the States, but in my heart of hearts, I know I am more boring than I‘d like to be, and many a Fridays, I tell myself I must go out tonight only to end up cuddling up with the boys after movie night, then staying-in Saturday and Sundays as well. So by October, I had written off 2017 as a year of Hard Work and no Play, and was already planning to start with Play in 2018. I had signed up two friends to accompany me on a Dubai trip in January of 2018 for my 39th Birthday and I was recruiting others.



Vaders aboard Majesty 101

This was how things were when my friend in Lagos whom I hadn’t seen since 2013 invited me to her 40th Birthday weekend celebration in Dubai taking place November 16th to 19th.  I took one look at the Party itinerary and without even consulting my bank account and budget, I booked my hotel and started looking at tickets.  I mean this had to be God telling me that I deserved to PLAY in 2017.  

Leaving for the airport that morning like :)

Fast-forward to three weeks later, after a hectic work week that started on a Sunday, I flew the 12 + hours from New York to Dubai, as my second flight for the day, arriving Dubai and heading straight for the Gold Souq, thanks to my dearest friend, Emi who picked me up from the airport. Tired and jetlagged, I hunted for the perfect pair of gold earrings to no avail, and ended up leaving the gold souq after searching for 2 hours with only a plain gold chain; though I did see very beautiful gold pieces that were way above my budget and thankfully too rich for my current lifestyle.  I had fun taking a picture with a dress made of gold and having a total stranger ask to take a picture with me!  Celebrity status☺.

God dress, Dubai Gold Souk



Henna Tatto by Sona Salon Al Ain

My friend and I drove to Al Ain, in Abu Dhabi Emirate to see his family and I got a little bit of Cultural immersion. We had luquaimat (the jury is still out on the name) Luqaimat vs Loukoumades Arabic flatbread with hummus, Fatoush, roasted chicken and some fruits for dinner and went to watch the Emiratis (as the locals are called) typical weekend night entertainment which included the Yowla traditional dance performance by the men wielding dummy guns, swords and sticks.  [Insert Dance Pictures] Our next stop was to get Henna tattoos and then on to the local Gold Souq, again in search of that perfect gold earrings.  By 10 pm, I had spent so much time with Gold, I looked like gold, and thankfully was the proud owner of not only a pair of perfect gold earrings, but bracelets to go with it.



Gold earrings and bracelet

Looking into Oman

My cultural immersion that night concluded with a ride to Jebel Hafeet, which translates as Empty Mountain.  At 1, 249 m (4, 098 ft.) it is the second tallest Mountain in the UAE, but with a Castle, and a hotel perched at the tip of the mountain, a radar station, and a three lane road driving up, it is the most popular and hosts the finishing line of the annual Abudhabi Tour cycling competition. The tallest mountain in the UAE though is Jabel Jais at 1, 925 m (6,315ft) in the northern Emirate of Ras Al Khaimah.

Up at the summit of Jebel Hafeet, is a picturesque view of the entire city of Al Ain, and an overlook into the deserts of Oman.

The Emiratis came out to play with the Ferraris and power bikes which they sped up and down the mountain road like little children with beloved toys.  I immensely enjoyed my cultural immersion and did not mind that I missed an unplanned pre-party that included a limo ride to the One Africa Music Fest. in Dubai.

Emiratis at PLAY

After a few hours of shut-eye, I was up and ready the following morning, to get with my PLAY.

Playground #1

Day Party at Nikki Beach Resort & Spa 

Nikki beach is a private beach located on the waterfront of Pearl Jumeirah. The beauty of the blue waters of the Arabian Sea, and the stunning views from every corner of the property was quickly lost to me as I immersed myself in fine liquor and dancing to world tunes at the pool side party that had people from five different continents.  I think the fact that I met and quickly fell in love with the only eligible bachelor at the party is to blame for my lack of awesome pictures of the amazing storybook view of playground #1.  Unfortunately, I got to this playground late, partied way too hard, and in a blur, the limo was back to take us to the hotel to get ready for Party #2.

Girls just wanna have fun!!!

Play Ground #2

The restaurant at Bab Al Shams Desert Resort & Spa

Bab Al Shams is a luxury retreat situated in the heart of the desert and nestled in the Dunes of Dubai.  After keeping the limo waiting for almost two hours we took the one hour ride from the heart of Dubai in style.  Dressed in local garb of Konduras and Abayas, we arrived at the AL Hadheerah restaurant for a timeless Arabian Experience under the stars, and enjoyed extensive and colorful live entertainment

that was sometimes brought to the tables, and authentic Middle Eastern dishes of roasted lamb, chicken, beef, prawns, rice cooked in the open at fourteen live cooking stations.  Dinner was topped off with chocolate cake and fresh fruit desserts.  I have a thing for birthday songs in restaurants when I visit other countries and the Arabian birthday song did not disappoint.

Playground #3

Super Yacht Majesty 101. Dubai Marina

For Party #3 we headed to the Dubai Marina to board the biggest yacht docked at the very end of the strip.  Stretched out at 101ft, Majesty 101 has three decks, a hot tub, a living  

area, a dining area, three fully furnished bedrooms and a full kitchen.  This was a big ass luxury three bedroom hotel suite on water, or better yet a party duplex on water.  This all white party was my favorite play of all and I will let the pictures and videos tell the story.  One story you won’t get from the pictures is that I was sleeping peacefully atop a couch in the living room when the boat docked☺.  Yeah!  It’s been ages this mama partied hard!

All white party aboard Majesty 101

Playground #4

 Cavalli Club Dubai 



Crystal Chandelier at the Cavalli club

Cavalli Club Dubai is a multiple award winning luxury venue located in the Fairmont Hotel Dubai.  Inspired by and launched in collaboration with the celebrated designer Roberto Cavalli, the lavish space beneath a wealth of Swarovski crystals is the distillation of all things fabulous.  Dinner was exquisite Italian and world fusion cuisine that was as beautiful as it was yummy.

 

At midnight the real party started with a birthday song that involved fireworks Davido’s “FIA” blasting through the club speakers.  Vaders truly took over Dubai that night as we danced away the night amidst awe inspiring beauty everywhere.  Listen! when I tell you, you haven’t been to a luxury club until you go to the Cavalli Club Dubai, please believe me!  Best Bathroom Selfie I ever took with all gold “erything.  Tired and Sleepy we toasted my Shero and received mighty thanks for being part of her fairytale fabulous 40th Birthday celebration.

All in all, I am thankful I got this opportunity to really PLAY and although I was a part of the medical emergency on my 14 + hour return flight, coupled with my pocketbook still in recovery, I definitely added a few things to my PLAY book on how to turn 40 and would totally do it again!

Cheers

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Happy Ending

"It's the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting." - Paulo Coelho - The Alchemist

 Someone I met recently have worked his way into becoming one of my favorite people in the whole wide world. You know how sometimes you meet someone and you just fall completely and hopelessly in love with their entire being.  Their smile is special, their gist is perfectly seasoned, but most importantly is the way they make you feel...  In our hearts no matter how irrelevant the world thinks we are, we sometimes know how special we are and if we are extra lucky, we meet someone at least once in our lifetime that makes us feel truly special like my Ed.  Before I ramble on and on about my love for one of my guardian Angels and make his wife jealous, let me get back to Happy ending.

So I recently splurged on ordering a masseuse to my hotel room on a business trip to California thanks to Ed.  I was feeling special enough to think my tired ‘n aching body could use some TLC so I went to brother google and found the highest rated masseuse in the area by name Jay.  The thought of having a strange man in my hotel room rubbing my almost naked body scared me some so I asked Ed to stay on the phone with me for safety.  Yea, I watch way too much crime TV to be a victim.  Anyways in his crazy way he started talking about how I should ask Jay for a happy ending.  Shocked? Yea, me too, I thought that was just for guys.  Thankfully Jay send me a female masseuse, so I didn't have to ask or even think of that kind of happy ending.

The massage was a few weeks ago, but lately, I have been thinking of happy endings and the realization of my dreams.  Not sure why, but I will give some of the credit to my Ed.  And do get your head out of the gutter, I am not talking about that happy ending, just the ones that fairy tales are made of, you know, happily ever after and the realization of dreams.  If you are a girl who believe in fairy tales and you some how get to almost 40 without the big party with you in a prettiest dress being the center of every attention including that of the charming prince who is supposed make all your dreams come true, you often encounter cimmerian days when even your first class academic accomplishments and career triumphs pale in comparison to this failure.

Lately my dreich days are few and far between.  I am more confident in my belief that I will get my happy ending.  I am self aware enough to know that my cimmerian days are more than for most people, because I want more than most people, so much more.  I mean, my happy ending involves a Prince Charming, who is not only handsome and rich, but he has the ability to make me smile with a few inane words and has all the time in the world to talk to me when all I want to do is smile.   My happy ending also include a private jet, or at least access to one, a home that has enough grounds to house a vineyard, a golf course, a restaurant, and a retreat boutique hotel.  I can totally see myself now in my humble seven bedroom cottage that constantly smells like a porcucopia of fragrant roses.

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Oh, what is life without dreams?  While I await my happy ending, I will take time to be happy now, to rejoice in friendships, experiences, career successes, yacht parties, business and fun travel with extra leg room in commercial airplanes, luxury golf trips, yummy Foods, heavenly scents, gold shopping, comfy beds, fine wines, fancy teas, purse shopping, uninterrupted sleep, shoe shopping, and everything else that makes life beautiful.  Until I get my happy ending and the forever smile giving Prince Charming, I will take the smiles that guardian Angels like my Ed gives me....