Driving
home from a boxing party with the bf last Saturday, my mind wandered to a
million and one things as it habitually does, and I turned to him and asked,
“do you think men cheat more than women in relationships, or do they just get
caught more?” Thankfully his eyes did
not have a culpable look as he fleetingly glanced at me, before putting his
eyes back on the road and answering very carefully. “I don’t know, I will have to think about it
for a while”. He still thinks every
question I ask seemingly from nowhere is a trick question. Sometimes they are,
but this time I was just plain curious.
My curiosity led me to my dearest friend
Google and I found out that The Huffington post thinks that women may be bigger cheaters and the
Daily Mail in one article say that research found out Most
women cheaters never get caught.
What do you think? Looking
forward to reading some thoughts on this one.
Extrapolating
from my direct knowledge thousand of children, if not millions are being raised
by fathers who are not their real fathers.
As a Nigerian American connected to a large immigrant community, I hear
a lot of stories of children denied immigrant visas because DNA tests proved
that they were not fathered by the US citizen they have called “daddy” all
their lives. Recently, I learned about a
man who found out at almost fifty that his father was not his biological
father. His mom was dead by the time
this information was related to him by the US embassy as a reason for denying
his sick old father a US immigrant visa.
The I-485 he filed for his dad was based on the fact that his dad is the
father of a US citizen but DNA proved otherwise. That guy and a lot of children born out of a
woman’s infidelity will never know who their real fathers are.
There
is an Igbo adage that says “nani nwanyi ma onye nna nwa ya bu” which translates
to “only a woman knows who the real father of her child is”. I am sure this adage was made up before DNA
tests but its still applicable today as most children especially those born
within a marriage do not undergo a DNA test.
I had a friend once who insisted that all his children must undergo a
DNA test but that was before he got married.
Before I digress too much on these evidence that cheating women have
existed for years, this question for me stem from the fact that if women get
asked out and men do the asking, then it is only common sense that women have
more opportunities to cheat than men are.
I
won’t disclose how many times in a week or month that I am faced with a
proposition that could lead to sex as a woman but I will express the fact that
I believe that every woman married or not gets these propositions albeit at
different rates. Men on the other hand,
even the play boys I know very well, need to make a move to get sex from the
most willing of females. Hence a man
needs to ask to cheat but a woman really only needs to say “yes” or even just
be too weak to resist. It is much easier
to say, “yes” than to ask even the shortest question, hence my peripatetic
thoughts on whether men really cheat more?
Please
do share your thoughts….
Like
Always
Cheers!
God Bless
